By Jen Cody
“If today were the day that you had to stop dancing, how would you feel?”
This question is asked during the final scene of A Chorus Line when a dancer, hoping to make it into the chorus of a Broadway show, is injured and the director asks the rest of the those auditioning if it’s worth it. When something that you have trained to do your whole life could end in a fleeting moment- is it worth it?
Like many dancers, if you get the chance to perform A Chorus Line, you are young and in the prime of your career. The thought of having it taken away from you in an instant is something that could happen- but it’s not probable. “If I get hurt, I will just do physical therapy, get better and do another show. What could possibly happen that would keep me from doing what I love?”
March 13th.
A global pandemic that shut down Broadway and every theatre in the Country. All at once, careers are paused and without warning, we are all trying to answer the question, “What would you do if you can’t dance anymore?”.
First, I want to debunk a phrase that drives me crazy, “The kids in the Chorus”. I blame 1940’s musicals with Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney and dialogue from 42nd Street for teaching everyone that the athletes/artists that make up the chorus are children. When we think about the specialized artists that will probably be the last to come back from this pandemic, it’s easier to think of them as kids who can go ‘home’, move back into their childhood bedrooms and do something else. It is a lot harder to think of them as college educated adults with mortgages and children, whose careers already carry a finite amount of years and whose industry is 100% unemployed. Rarely discussed in news reports or websites, what these artists do is a checklist in what to avoid in a pandemic. We sing, we sweat, we touch, we breathe, without social distancing and in large groups. What we do and how we do it will change forever. When theatre comes back, it will be with smaller shows-and perhaps without a chorus. What happens to us, the backbone of musical theatre?
“Kiss Today Goodbye”
I am scared. I have been a Broadway performer for over 25 years and have proudly danced in the chorus of 9 Broadway shows and multiple shows off Broadway. At 5'0 tall, my dreams of becoming a Broadway dancer may have seemed crazy. But, it was everything to me. Every choice that I made was to achieve that dream. The business has always been one of ups and downs. It is heartbreaking and thrilling; often at the same time. At no point did I ever anticipate that all the work would be swept away in an instant. I wonder if I would have spent more time appreciating the joy that I felt doing my last show had I know that it could be my last show ever. I am panicked that I am not prepared to do anything else. My ‘toolbox” of skills that have allowed me to work and earn a living don’t really translate to another profession. Double pirouette (Both sides)-Check. Comic line delivery-check. High belt-check. Prat falls-check. Where else are these employable skills? According to numerous online tests, no where. So, I looked toward my community: my fellow performers who must be feeling the same way. How are they are negotiating this 2020 version of A Chorus Line? How do they keep filling themselves with passion but also make money to support themselves, and in some cases, their families? When you have trained your whole life and had a plan, how long do you wait? And if you choose to “do something else”-or are forced to- is it a cop out?
“Point me towards tomorrow”
Jeff “Schecky” Schecter had lived the A Chorus Line story in 2006 when he was injured in rehearsals during previews of the Broadway revival and spent much of the run of the show recovering. The fragility of what we do and the reliance that we have on our bodies and the questions of how long we, as athletes, have in this industry were already present. In March, Jeffrey was like many of us; doing a benefit and making jokes about quarantine, not shaking hands and thinking this will only last a few weeks. Then the virus hit home. The porter in his building, Zacharias died mid April. All of a sudden, they were doing a fundraiser for his family and the virus was real. Protecting and providing for his own family became the most important thing. Jeff’s wife Melissa Swender-Schecter (also a dancer), had surgery in April and caring for their two children and taking ICanDoThatNYC (their company that they began in 2015) to a virtual platform was placed on Jeff’s very capable shoulders. But Jeff’s engine never stops. What he brings to the stage, he is now bringing to teaching. “ I want to pass on to those who may need some optimism right now- “Do not half ass anything. Don’t second guess yourself. If you love it-don’t cheat yourself of it. Be an individual. I think of those dancers who inspired me-Michael Jackson and Gene Kelly- and hope that someday one of my students may say, “What would Schecky do?” I am resourceful. I still have dreams of being a big film actor. I am still thinking of what I want to be when I grow up.”
“The gift was ours to borrow…”
Sarah Meahl was most recently on Broadway in Kiss Me Kate. In March, she was working with Broadway Artist Alliance and getting ready to begin her summer work. After a staph infection in 2019 made her wonder whether she would dance again, Sarah already was questioning whether a career should define you. When covid hit, she and her husband decided to look at the big picture and focus on what they wanted long term. Being in a global pandemic and quarantined in a 400 square foot apartment helped push them to decide what they wanted. “We were always doing so much, looking for the next job…I never really took time for myself” When she was performing in Hello Dolly on Broadway, a stage hand gave her a copy of the book, Creativity by Osho. She started to find ways to fulfill her passion that also quieted her mind. As a dancer, she started to understand that while this business fills you with such joy, there are also many heartbreaks. “If there is no more theatre for us, I will have had my piece and will be ok with that. I have more in me, but right now, I’m happy to do what I can.” Her excitement in talking about other avenues is palpable. “Doing something else is not a cop out. It is what we do as dancers. We pass the torch. My husband, Ed Watts, and I have been pre- approved for a loan to get a house. We want kids. My husband has been building things. I have been creating a dance series to teach the history of what we do to the next generation. I’ve been watercoloring and cooking. I want to open an inn. Ultimately, I want to take care of others and leave this world a better place. How is that a cop out?”
“Wish me luck, the same to you”
James Harkness was in the midst of being a star on Broadway. He had been in the chorus of many shows but in Aint Too Proud: The Life and Times of the Temptations he was the star-having originated the role of Paul Williams. When Broadway shut down, James first saw it as a welcome break. He slept. He healed. “It was going to be a great 6-week vacation”. He traveled home to Massachusetts. He was grateful.
Now, 6 months later, he is worried about his friends in the community. “We are social people. I fear the depression that has set in. We are not meant to be alone. We are a resilient group. We do a show. It closes. We get a survival job. We audition. We survive. Now, there are no shows to audition for and very few survival jobs. Everything is different. What this pause has taught me is that I need to find balance. I hope that we have learned that we have to work to live and not live to work. I have used this time to choreograph and write. I never had the energy or heart space to pay attention to my voice while doing 8 shows a week. I am spending time thinking about kids that grow up without dance and drama and chorus in school and how I can use my voice in that way. I have to believe that Broadway will be back. Even if I left for awhile, I will be back and ready when it returns. If it didn’t come back, I would be devastated but would also think “Look at all the stuff that I’ve done.”
“Look my eyes are dry”
Ray Lee is an actor who has been in numerous Broadway shows and, on March 13th, was in rehearsals for the new Britney Spears musical, Once Upon A One More Time, playing Snow White’s Dwarf and a dancing Prince. He spoke about the project with such excitement. “These are two of my favorite joys, performing and Britney Spears, and they were finally coming together”. When the industry first shut down, he didn’t take it seriously. Then, Covid-19 hit. Literally. He contracted covid and had to quarantine away from his husband and daughter. The reality of the situation became very real. “I just kept thinking that we would be back in September.” Ray looks at this as being on a treadmill: “I am just going to keep walking and hopefully be able to step back into my life when it’s time”. Ray is lucky. His husband, Robbi is still working. They have a home in Saugerties, NY that keeps them out of the City and gives them space. He speaks of the pockets of gratitude. “I had the time to teach my daughter, Ella, how to swim. I would have missed that if I were doing 8 shows a week”. He is using the time to inspire the next generation of Asian American Artists. He is writing and connecting and creating. All things that may not have happened in this crazy world of theatre. So, with lingering symptoms of covid, Ray remains optimistic. “When I am onstage, I am where I am supposed to be. When it is part of your soul, there are no other choices”.
“We did what we had to do”
Brian Martin was about to make his Broadway debut. “It was the third preview of Mrs. Doubtfire and opening night was just a few weeks away. “My dream of being on Broadway- almost realized.” And then- it’s gone. “All of a sudden, I am packing up the dressing room and waiting.” For how long and for what exactly is unclear. Brian was a swing at Mrs. Doubtfire, a brand new Broadway show. A swing covers multiple parts and goes on in a moment’s notice. You have to have confidence and resiliency. “We were rehearsing the show when we got the news. Most of the cast was sitting in the house and read about Broadway closing on Playbill”. He was devastated. “I had been dreaming about being on Broadway since I was 5. Hearing the pride in my Mom’s voice when I told her I got a Broadway show was huge.” He packed a carry-on and went to visit his folks for what he thought would be 2 weeks. 17 weeks later, he came back to NYC. His survival jobs don’t exist right now. He has gotten his personal training certification so when gyms open up-he will be ready. He teaches online but is finding that it doesn’t fulfill the energy or create a community in the way a real dance class does. “If I have to wait 1 year or 3 years, I will. I want to be one of the people still fighting. I am living paycheck to paycheck at age 30. I didn’t get into this for stability.” He stopped going over his ‘tracks’ that he covers. He knows that everything will be different when they come back. “I would be lying if I said that I could do anything different”.
“Won’t Forget, can’t regret”
When I first reached out to these fellow performers, I was perhaps hoping for direction and guidance. I knew by watching them perform, they shared my passion. I believed that they too must be crushed and desolate. But as I sit here, typing this last paragraph, I am filled with a sense of pride that I belong to this community. I am inspired. Yes. I am still scared. Since beginning to write this piece, we have received word that Broadway will be dark for, at least, another year. We know that what we do and how we do it will change forever. What has been so much a part of who I am, my constant, is now “the unknown”. So, we wait. We are not the single name stars that you know. We are not the legends that are in the headlines. So, please, when the “We’re Back” stories start and the “It’s Over” banners are waving, let’s not forget those who may still be waiting and hoping- the chorus. Please do not ask us “What is your plan B?” This is it. This is what we do. This is who we are. We will be in the wings waiting to make our entrance.
“Kiss today goodbye
And point me towards tomorrow. We did what we had to do-
Won’t forget, can’t regret
What I did for love”
-Marvin Hamlish/Ed Kleban
https://marvinhamlisch.com/reviews/song-what-i-did-for-love-orig-cast-recording- musical-a-chorus-line-the-music-of-marvin-hamlisch/
